Half a year...

Dear Tanner,

Happy half birthday!! So hard to believe that 6 months ago, I was in the hospital meeting you for the first time. That feels like just yesterday to me!

This has been a busy month for you. You have 2 teeth now, your bottom ones. You look so cute with these little ones poking through. However, you have bitten mama a few times, so hope that is not something you will do consistently. You are rolling from your tummy to your back pretty consistently, but not yet from your back to your tummy. You can sit up for a few seconds unassisted but your favorite thing to do is jump. You want to stand and jump all the time. You've recently started getting into the "crawling position" and rocking back and forth. That scares mommy a little bit, she is not ready for a crawler!

Mommy had to go back to work this month and had SUCH a hard time with that. You are spending 2-3 days a week with Marci, a wonderful wonderful lady who you love already! You are so smiley and happy there, sleep well there, and it makes mommy feel soooo good to know you are somewhere where you are safe and loved.

You've started waking up a lot more in the night again, so we started "operation get rid of swaddle and sleep positioner" since you'd be struggling to get our of your swaddle and then be in this weird position in the positioner. You are sleeping a lot better on your tummy. You know how to put the paci back in your mouth so mommy has put lots all over your crib so you can find them yourself :) Mommy still feeds you once during the night. We started you on solids a couple weeks ago. You were NOT interested in the cereals at all, but love sweet potatoes! You love sitting in the high chair with us when it's dinner time. You just laugh and look so proud of yourself. You are becoming SUCH a big boy!

You are still my cuddler. I can already tell that you have such a sweet spirit...you take after your daddy in that as well as your looks. Always a smile on your face, always a giggle ready to share. Everyone who meets you just comments about your smile and how happy you are. You are a flirt and love the ladies :)

Your mommy loves you, Tanner bo-banner :)

Love, Mommy

5 months old already!

Dear Tanner,

I am just in awe of how fast time is flying by and how fast you are growing up! You are changing so quickly, every day, right before my eyes. I am LOVING this stage with you. You are so aware of everything around you, always reaching out for stuff, grabbing hold of anything you can, and usually everything ends up in your mouth. You have been working on teeth for a bit now, especially this last week. I'm hoping the little guys will pop through soon to give you some relief! I can tell you are so uncomfortable with them!

Tanner, you are my sweet, laughing boy. Always a smile on your face, always a giggle. I am amazed at the simple joy that you have already, at such a young age. The littlest things just make you laugh and laugh, and when you laugh, it makes all of us laugh too. You love hanging out on the changing table, you love it when mommy lifts you high and "flies" you through the air. You are so much fun.

You are eating about every 4 hours during the day. You are taking 3 naps a day, usually 2 long ones and a short one. You are addicted to your paci or "soo soo" and I think it is contributing to a lot more night wakings lately for a "replug". We've had to let you fuss a bit in the night, but you are learning to go back to sleep without it. You still wake to eat once during the night, and I don't mind that too much. I love my cuddle time with you!

You are such a sensitive little guy. You are quite the "startler" and the littlest noises make you jump. Sophie gets a kick out of doing the little things to make you "jump". But then you just give her one of your big smiles :) She can ALWAYS make you stop fussing. She just starts singing and you stop crying and just get so calm. She is mommy's secret weapon for those fussy moments!

You are LOVING the johnny jump up and spend so much time jumping around in there. You are just on the go all the time (for as much as you CAN be on the go for 5 months old). You always want to be standing in our laps, no sitting for you, which is just like Sophie was at this age too, and she is still on the go 24/7. I am so glad you still love your cuddles though. I love how every day before a nap, you just rest your head on my shoulder and nuzzle into me. You always follow me with your eyes, no matter where I go in the room. You end up in some weird positions as you arch around trying to see me.

I love you my precious boy!

Love, Mommy

Dizzy Days...

I had a pretty bad scare the other night. I woke up at 2am and felt a throbbing on my right side of my head. I tried to lay down/walk around and it was still there. I started to feel really "weird". I remember waking Jeremy up and saying "Jeremy, my head feels funny" and right after that things got soooo much worse. My head starting spinning!!! It felt like I had just played "Izzy dizzy" and the spinning wouldn't stop. Jeremy helped me make it to the bathroom where I started throwing up, this lasted a few hours.

During this whole episode, the hardest thing to do was not to let the fear come in. Whenever there are things to do with health issues to someone close to me, or myself, I often panic and think of worse case scenario. I know a lot of this stems from me losing my mom at such a young age, and realizing that life can change in an instant. I hate how right away my mind goes to "tumor/aneurysm/stroke" and "what's going to happen to my kids because of this?".

At 4am, as this is still continuing full force, after Jeremy calls the advice nurse and they say "Bring her into ER!" Jeremy ends up calling the ambulance to come and get me. This was all going on around me and I just felt like it was so surreal. Got to the hospital and they decide to run a gamut of blood tests on me and do a CAT scan...never have had one of those in my life, so freaky.

Needless to say, all the results came back FINE. Dr said it could be an inner ear virus or something and to check in with a doctor in 3-5 days. I am soooo glad it is nothing serious, at the same time, going through that all really makes me realize the importance of life and how fragile it is and how at every moment, I just need to remember that God holds my life in his hands.

I'm so thankful that my dad was in town visiting, and my sister was such a godsend and came over and took care of the kids while I was in bed, literally, all day yesterday. I'm still a bit dizzy now, but enough to function, thank the LORD!

4 months!

Dear Tanner,

Hard to believe that 4 months ago today, you were this new bundle in my arms! Watching you then was such a miracle, especially with all the turmoil of my pregnancy and all the unknown we faced then. I still think of you as my little miracle, and sometimes it hits me hard just what we almost faced with you. I wonder if I will always be a bit more protective of you because of all this.

You are growing sooooo big! Nearly 100% for height and 75% for weight...Long and lean like your daddy maybe? You are growing out of your clothes at an alarming rate, and pretty much wear all 6 month size sleepers. 3 mth pants are SO short on you!

It was a crazy month in the beginning, with you being Mr. Catnapper all day long. A little exhausting at times!! But you've started to take some nice longer naps this past week and are falling into a pretty consistent pattern which makes Mommy a little more relaxed :) You are still waking up in the night to feed, around 4-4:30 and then going back to sleep till 7-7:30. At times I just want you to be sleeping through the night, especially with me having to go back to work in a month, but when I'm holding you and feeding you in the middle of the night, how peaceful and still you are, I am not ready for that to be gone. Especially since when you are awake you are Mr. Active and Mr. go go go, non stop!

You are still my Mr. Smiley Guy! You laugh SOOOO easily and so much! You love being tickled and will shriek in anticipation as our hands get closer to tickling you. You fill my heart with so much joy, little man! I love how you just love to cuddle and be held. You don't seem to be "uncomfortable" anymore so hopefully we can be off the Reflux medication soon.

I love you my little guy!

Love Mommy

3 months old

Dear Tanner (or Mr. Smiley).

My precious boy, I love watching your grow before my eyes! Every day you are changing and growing so much. You no longer are this little newborn baby who I could just hold in my arms. You are becoming such a big boy who is taking in everything around you! I love how you just zero in on Sophie and just love watching her all the time. You always have special smiles just for her, even when she is right in your face, like she is so much.

This month has been an interesting one. I am still trying to figure out your patterns and routines, but you like to keep me guessing. One night we will be blessed with a 6-8 hr chunk of sleep, and the next night you decide to wake up 4 times, either to talk for awhile, to fuss, or to eat. Mommy is pretty tired having to readjust to more wake ups again in the night after enjoying long chunks for awhile!

We've had quite a time with "health" stuff this month. Trying to figure out what is making you so uncomfortable. We have switched your acid reflux meds again and are hoping to see more change. We know when you are feeling good because you just love cuddling then. We don't know if the discomfort you are going through is any way related to suddenly screaming in the car/car seat. Trying to figure out if something is hurting you! Because as soon as you are out, you are just the happiest, smiliest little guy again.

You fill my heart with so much joy, little Tanner. Even in the middle of the night when you wake up and are so hungry, you will still give me a big old smile and just melt my heart. I love hearing you talk more and listen as you "find your voice", even though it would be nicer to hear it during the day, and not at 1am, or 2am, or 3am :) You are a giggly little guy and just make us laugh so much. Please don't grow up too fast, little man!

I love you,

Love, Mommy



You just LOVE staring at your daddy


Best buds

2 mths

Dear Tanner,

Time is just flying by! I can't believe you are 2 months old today. In so many ways it feels like just yesterday we were driving to the hospital, getting ready to meet you, and now, here you are. It is hard to imagine our lives without you in it! You are so much a part of our family and we love you so much.

This has been such a big month for you. We've gone through some really tough days when you just were fighting sleep and wouldn't sleep anywhere...mommy was pretty tired those days. But it feels like we have been coming out of that recently. You have been falling asleep on your own in your crib without much of a fuss. When you are awake, you are the happiest little guy. You are smiling all the time. I love how you always are staring at me and when I make eye contact with you, you get all smiley and start cooing and just being so adorable. Even if you are so overtired, or if you are nursing, once we make eye contact, there is your big grin :)

You also started rolling over from tummy to back this month which has kind of floored mommy, as your big sister didn't roll over until 5.5 months! I thought it was just a fluke, but you have done it consistently now, during these past 2 weeks. Oh boy. You are always so alert, watching everything, your head arching back to see everything. But I love how in the past week you seem more "settled" and are back to snuggling on mommy's shoulder again. I have missed that.

You are a special little guy to me, and fill my heart more than I thought possible. I love you Tanner Michael!

Love, Mommy

My big girl

My precious little girl Sophie, went to preschool for the first time today! Our church has a summer preschool program so Jeremy and I decided to send her 1 day a week for the rest of the summer. Good for her to get out and interact with other kids, as well as get used to being there, as she'll be going there in the fall a couple days a week.

I couldn't help but feel a little "weepy" today over Sophie. She woke up super early "so excited Mom!" for going to preschool. Sophie just wants to be a "big girl" soooo badly.

Seeing Sophie at preschool (yes, I stayed for a bit...not too long, but I needed to, for my sanity, watch my precious little girl there). She found her name on the little carpet square, promptly sat down criss-cross applesauce and her hands in her lap (she has been talking about going to school FOREVER, this is a dream for her, she plays it all the time).

I know I need to "let go" and let her grow to be the independent little girl she is, who has such a love for life, learning and others. It's hard though, for me, to watch this precious little jewel, who fills my heart with so much love and joy, grow up and not "need me" as much anymore. This little one who made me a mom. This little one who cried and screamed for most of her first 3 months, but blossomed into a joyful little soul. In school. Without me.

Even as I write this, I have a little tear coursing down my cheek. I am so proud of the little sweetie Sophie has become, and love seeing her grow and learn and become who she is. I just pray, that even with this new season for her, that she will still come to me for the cuddles and hugs that I am not ready to give up yet.

Sophie today, ready to go to preschool





Learning


Eating lunch like a big girl


And just because I'm feeling SO sentimental...here is little Sophie...this feels like JUST yesterday...

Just trucking along...

Where is time going?? Too fast! There are days that feel like they are DRAGGING by (the days where both kids are fighting sleep) but really, I am just amazed at how fast everything is going by.

Tanner is getting soooo big. DEFINITELY losing that newborn look which makes me feel a bit sad. BUT, oh my gosh, he is my "smiley guy". He is smiling ALL THE TIME (unless he is in his crib :) He will smile as you are rocking him to sleep...he does this as he is making eye contact with me, love it. He's started smiling at me during nursing, which makes for messy nursing sessions, but I LOVE it.

We are having BIG issues in the sleep department...he sleeps GREAT at night, no problem there, however, daytime sleep, ugh, another story!! And yes, once again, I have a child who does not like to sleep in: their swing, bouncy chair, or carseat. If we go on long trips in the car, he is out like a light, but none of this sleep in the city stuff. Even in my arms, he does not usually sleep. So we put him in his crib and stay with him forever till he falls asleep, sometimes pushing the binky back in 100 times, other times putting our hand on his back, or shhh-ing him. Sigh, even fussing at times. It's hard b/c he will NOT sleep when we go out places, so, because of that, I often feel "stuck" at home, b/c I know I will be dealing with a severely overtired baby who doesn't want to sleep.

Right now, we are swaddling him for naps, which he doesn't like that much, however, without a swaddle for naps he doesn't settle well. I will gladly take ANY tips you have to offer :) :) Or, tips for getting him to LIKE his dang swing and bouncy chair enough to sleep in them occasionally, lol.

Sophie is growing up soooo quickly. I look at her and can't believe how grown-up she is. She is so articulate with her words and I am amazed at her understanding of things. She has such a sweet and sensitive spirit. It is getting hard to read books/watch movies with her b/c she asks 5 million questions throughout each, but as a teacher, I know I should encourage this. She wants to know everything. For those of you teachers out there, I almost want to do a Letter Identification test with her :) She can identify probably close to 95% of all upper case and lower case letters. She can spell out whole words, she is starting to write her name totally on her own (we have a funny looking S, an O, P, and an i right now).

I feel bad b/c over the past 7 weeks of adjusting to having a newborn, Sophie has been sorely neglected, which I know HAPPENS, but it's very hard for me, as I really miss her, and we DID have 3 years of just the 2 of us. Starting on Monday, we will be sending to her at least 1 morning a week of summer preschool at the preschool at our church, where she'll be going in the fall. I KNOW it will be good for her to get out, and interact and learn, but it makes Mommy so sad, b/c once again, it's a reminder of just how fast she is growing up.

I love my kids, I love my family, I am just one tired mama these days, but...just trucking along...

1 month old...

Dear Tanner,

I can't believe you are 1 month old today! This month has just flown by, and along with that, you are growing and changing so much. You are such a blessing to our family, little buddy. I love the way that you calm as soon as you hear Sophie and turn to find her. I love how your face lights up when you see your daddy and you give him your best smiles. I love the way you are such a snuggly little guy and find so much comfort in my arms.

You are such a loved little boy. Even before you were born, you filled so many hearts because of the fervent prayers we were all praying for you. I love watching you sleep, so peaceful, and think about how just a few months ago, I was having a huge battle within myself, from the fear of certain dr reports, and not even knowing if I would get to hold you and have you with me.

You are a mellow little guy, and do not want to miss out on anything! Hence the "fighting sleep" in the daytime, but hopefully that will improve with time. You calm so much to music and love listening to mommy and Sophie reading books. You have no interest at all in the swing or bouncy chair, and would rather be in arms all day long :)

I love you precious Tanner. I thought it would take me longer to "love" or "bond" with a 2nd child, but the moment you were born, I have felt such an amazing love for you, my son.

Luv, Mommy

Update on Tanner

What a long day! Thought I would write an update on here about what went on today.

BACKGROUND

For those of you who do not know, when I was 21 weeks pregnant and having my "big ultrasound", they saw that the baby's right kidney had multi-cysts and was enlarged. I had to go for many follow up ultrasounds to check the baby's kidneys. What was told to us in the beginning was that it looked like it was a genetic kidney disease, but since it was just 1 kidney, that was a good thing. At my 28 week ultrasound, the report showed that BOTH kidneys were enlarged and had cysts. We were told it was 1 of 2 things: 1) Auto-recessive Polycystic kidney disease, which is a genetic disease and most likely means dialysis/kidney transplant, or 2) Multicystic Dysplastic kidney, which means the kidneys didn't form correctly. If this is in 1 kidney, that is fine, b/c you can live a totally normal and healthy life with just 1 kidney. However, if it's both kidneys not formed correctly, this is something that is not compatible with life. Needless to say, after hearing that report, we went through probably the hardest emotional week of our lives. Many many prayers were being prayed for our little baby. We were referred to a Pediatric Urologist 2 weeks later and had a very thorough ultrasound, and the result of that was: The left kidney is a perfectly beautiful functioning kidney :) But the right one just never developed properly. It was Multi-cystic dysplastic kidney, but since it's only 1 kidney, we were told that really, if we hadn't had an ultrasound ever, we probably would never have known in our child's whole life that they only had 1 kidney. They told us that they wanted to check the baby after it was born, at around 1 month.

TODAY:

Tanner had a few different procedures done today. The first was a repeat ultrasound of the kidneys. What this showed today, was that 1) his right kidney which had the cysts is smaller...this is GREAT. This is what needs to happen, and 2) the good left kidney has gotten bigger which is another AWESOME thing that needed to happen, to show that the left kidney is compensating for the non-functioning one. The urologist was very happy to see this, and we will go for a follow up ultrasound in 6 months just to check it again.

The 2nd procedure Tanner had done was to check if there was any reflux in the good kidney (meaning, stuff from the bladder going back up into the kidney). In people with Multi-cystic Dysplastic Kidney, you have a 1 in 4 chance of having reflux. Well, Tanner is that 1 in 4 person (seriously, this little guy better be the best behaved teenager, after all we are going through with him now, lol!!) However, the dr said that it is a very "low grade" reflux and in 80% of this low grade kind, it goes away on it's own, not requiring surgery. He really wasn't too concerned, and said he had never done surgery on this level of reflux. So we are praying and believing that it WILL go away on it's own.

Tanner was SUCH a trooper today...getting poked, examined, bugged, catheterized...he was such a champ. Mommy was pretty teary at times, but managed to hold it together...just!

Please keep up your prayers for our little miracle!

My Precious Little Boy...

It has been so long since I have posted on here! We have had a wonderful addition to our family in this time :)

Tanner Michael Koepke was born at 8:17am, Tuesday, June 2nd, weighing 8 lbs 5 0z and 21.5 inches long. Born with a head of light brown hair and looking so much like his older sister looked when she was born!

It was a wonderful birth and labor. With all the stress and emotions of this pregnancy, when we went through uncertain times if we would even get to meet the little one growing inside me, it was such a miracle and a sweet relief to meet this precious little boy.

He is a cuddler, a mellow little guy (unless he's hungry, dirty diaper or tired) and has already completely enraptured our hearts. He is peeing great (not something you normally brag over, but peeing is a sign of good kidney health).

We have an appt with a pediatric urologist on June 30th. They will do a repeat ultrasound of his kidneys, as well as a procedure known as VCUG where they will test the GOOD kidney to see if there is any reflux (Basically, to see that everything is functioning fine on that side). So please pray!

But honestly, we are so blessed with our precious son. He fills our hearts. Sophie loves him so much and is so proud to be a big sister.

It's out of our control

As a pretty control freak/everything in it's place/routine/scheduled/OCD type person, one can say that I function well when things are in order. I can do okay with change, surprisingly, as long as it is anticipated, planned, and well thought-out.

It is funny how different things happen to "throw off" the balance of "control" in one's life. It seems there are so many areas right now where I have NO CONTROL, and honestly, that is a scary place for me. Maybe my own insecurities, but "letting go and leaving it in God's hands" is something that I have to battle DAILY.

Right now, I really feel like this in a lot of areas. With my job: hearing all these reports of budget cuts and how dismal and horrible the future looks, but not yet knowing EXACTLY what that will entail for me and my family is really tough. With my pregnancy: This "waiting game" of "what's going on with the baby's kidney" is soooooo tough. There are days when I feel SO strong, and my faith in God is so high. Then there are days, like today, when I just feel so "out of control" about it all...there is nothing I can do, BUT pray and trust, and wait on the Lord. So hard for me...I just want to know!

Then, there is Chris and Stephanie. This amazing couple who I have only met once or twice but who are good friends with a good friend of mine. They are going through something right now that I couldn't possibly even phathom...the loss of their infant daughter. But even amidst this horrible time, when things are "out of their control", they are finding their rest and peace in GOD alone. Such an example that I know I need to follow.

Check out their journey here

Cadbury, how I love thee...

Well, it has hit...my yearly obsession with ANYTHING Cadbury chocolate, but most especially, Cadbury mini eggs. Oh man, they are hitting the spot lately! People must think I'm weird, or obsessed, about the amount of time that I spend talking about Cadbury Mini eggs. So I'll change my tune :)

This weekend I was up in Canada visiting Daddy dearest. I took a break from the Cadbury mini eggs and instead enjoyed wonderful delicacies such as Cadbury Caramilk chocolate bar (a yummy concoction, chocolate with soft caramel centers, in a bar form) and Cadbury Aero bars (bubbly chocolate :) )

Sigh...this happened to me when I was pregnant with Sophie too...eating and craving so much chocolate this time of pregnancy that I didn't know what to do with myself. Well, that is besides EAT it...This easter candy thing is pretty tough. With Sophie, I had my biggest weight gain during the month leading up to easter, b/c of all the cadbury mini eggs I consumed. I don't think this next pregnancy is shaping up to be any different, LOL

This one TAKES the cake....oh my WORD!!

I HAVE to post this one.....from Babycenter:

Swallowed Chewing Gum!!! Scared!!! (this was the subject of her post...below is what she said IN her post)

I'm 22 weeks 6 days and I accidentally swallowed my chewing gum today!! I'm scared it's gonna harm my baby. Anyone had this problem??


I'm sorry, I just can't stop laughing.....seriously???

Off to the motherland...

Sophie and I are off early tomorrow for a trip home to Canada. I have not been there since June after my grandma died. I'm used to going up there at least 3 times a year, but didn't make it for Christmas this year as we were in Montana.

So just Sophie and I headed up. It's only about a 5.5 hr drive...and I figure that Sophie did awesome on a 12 hour trip to Montana, so I'm hoping for good things on our trip tomorrow. I'm just so excited to be "taking off" and going somewhere again. I used to do weekend trips up to Canada all the time in college. I miss that independence of mine sometimes, that "free spirit" to just take off when I feel like it.

I am looking forward to getting together with my cuz Tracy and her 2 little darlings, Ruby and Roxy. Ruby and Sophie are 8 mths apart (Tracy and I are 6 mths apart) and I just wish we lived closer so they could have the kind of relationship Tracy and I did (grew up blocks away from each other).

Also, going to hit up the local White Spot (incredible Canadian restaurant)...will try to get there at least twice in my 3 evenings there.

Au Revoir!

Are you FREAKING Serious????

So, after my blog the other day, where I talked about how I wish I could stay home and not have to work anymore and how I'm feeling STUCK in my job, well, there's more GOOD NEWS.

The WONDERFUL governor of Oregon has declared today that he would like all teachers to, ahem, get ready for this, WORK FOR FREE THIS SPRING in order to save the state money b/c of massive budget cuts. Cutting days would hurt the kids (YES, I agree), but working for free?? I am livid.

Echoing what my friend Janelle said in her blog, I feel like this is a huge slap in the face. The HOURS I pour into my job, the HOURS of unpaid time I give to my job, and now, "please work for free?"

If I could add up how much money out of my own pocket I spend on my classroom over the past 7 years, or the times when students don't bring lunch money and I buy snacks/lunch for them out of my own pocket, it would be a huge amount. I go to school and take classes, and spend LOTS of my own personal money to further my professional growth so I can be a better teacher b/c that's what I WANT to be, and then this? Why am I doing this?

Yes, I love teaching and I'm "in it for the kids"...but after taking SO MUCH crap over the years, being totally underappreciated (but still doing the best that I can and WANTING to be a better teacher all the time), this just makes me feel undervalued all the more.

I WON'T DO IT. I'm sorry...It's a HORRIBLE precedent to set to say "yes this is okay". I've done this before with my own job, when I come in on my own time and not get paid, and now it becomes "expected" of you. I'm NOT DOING THIS!

Husbands...

How well do you know your husband?

1. What's he doing right now? At music practice at church

2. You’re out to eat. What kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Ranch

3. What is one food he doesn’t like? Cinnamon :)

4. You go out to the bar. What does he order? Pop :) (doesn't drink)

5. Where did he go to high school? Valley Christian School

6. What size shoe does he wear? 10.5

7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? guitar picks, LOL

8. What is his favorite type of sandwich? PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY (his "staple")

9. What would the Husband eat every day if he could? PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICHES

10. What is his favorite cereal? Grape nuts

11. What would he never wear? pink

12. What is his favorite sports team? Montana Grizzlies

13. Who is his best friend? me

14. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn’t do? spend so much time on the computer!!

15. Who did he vote for in the last election? McCain

16. How many states has he lived in? 3

17. What is his heritage? German and Welsh

18. You bake him a cake for his birthday; what kind? Oreo ice cream cake

19. Did he play sports in high school? Tennis

20. What could he spend hours doing? playing music

I'm having a moment...

It's been one of those days, or weeks where I am so incredibly sad that I have to work :( I have had so much fun with Sophie lately, going out and doing things like storytime, gymnastics, or just hanging out at home. It has been so enjoyable and Sophie is at this super fun stage right now of just being so much fun. The thought of going to work tomorrow (even for a 2 day week) is making me dissolve in tears.

I've even gotten as far as to mentally start making a list in my head of what we could do so that I didn't have to work...and haven't gotten very far, because at this point, not working is not really an option. We could sell our house, but in this day and market, we'd be losing so much money that it's not worth it.

Do you ever just feel "stuck"?? That no matter what you do, you are in this trapped place? I am so thankful for a job during this scary economic time. But when my wish and desire is to be at home and at this point there doesn't seem to be a logical way to do that, it just makes me so sad...And when my job just makes me so incredibly stressed that I come home a mental case, is that healthy?

A few more zingers

Okay, just have to add a few more "great questions/comments" from the baby site I check out...

1. Is it okay to get a chair massage at 23 weeks?

2. Anyone else NOT getting a new car? -- Umm, are you supposed to get new cars when you have a baby? missed that memo.

3. My prenatals are discontinued!!!! -- this girl was so troubled over this...

4. Can we have a natural birth without taking classes? -- sigh...

Because Rhonda asked...

So after Rhonda asked me to post new pictures of Sophie, it reminded me that it has been awhile since I've posted pics of my little monkey. So here are some new ones from the past few weeks.

Reading---she got her love of reading from Mommy!


Beautiful day at the park!






Bath time!

Are these people for real?!?!

I have to say that I tend to be a very logical thinker. I try to apply common sense to all areas of my life. Whether that is in big decisions or little things along the way.

Like I did when I was pregnant with Sophie, I go on "Babycenter.com" and am a part of a birthclub there of other women due in June. It's a good place to go for questions etc about the pregnancy/child bearing, etc. Obviously this is my 2nd pregnancy, but it's still fun to be a part of a group of a ton of women going through the same things you are.

However, there have been some posts on there lately that make me ask, "Are you for real?" Common sense people...here are a few of my favorites:

1. "HELP. I ate a spoonful of cream cheese icing I found from New Years."---this girl was freaked out that she poisoned her baby.

2. "Is cheesecake okay to eat?"

3. "Frequent ultrasounds... is it dangerous?"

4. "I am going to pick up my crib today. I have no IDEA what type of mattress to buy. I know firm but how many coils should it have and whats the best.. I am so confused.."

5. "Can back pain mean you are losing the baby?"

6. "Are heated back massagers safe?"


I'll be sure to post more of my "faves" when new ones appear :)

so I disappeared for awhile....

Okay, so didn't realize that I hadn't posted in 1.5 months!!! Oops! It's been a crazy few months though, with the holidays, the pregnancy, work....I need to get better about blogging again.

So yes, i am pregnant, if you didn't already know that by now! I am 23 weeks pregnant and due on June 9th. We are watching the baby's right kidney right now b/c it shows some cysts, but we are praying and believing that all will be fine!