Sunday, October 4, 2009

Dizzy Days...

I had a pretty bad scare the other night. I woke up at 2am and felt a throbbing on my right side of my head. I tried to lay down/walk around and it was still there. I started to feel really "weird". I remember waking Jeremy up and saying "Jeremy, my head feels funny" and right after that things got soooo much worse. My head starting spinning!!! It felt like I had just played "Izzy dizzy" and the spinning wouldn't stop. Jeremy helped me make it to the bathroom where I started throwing up, this lasted a few hours.

During this whole episode, the hardest thing to do was not to let the fear come in. Whenever there are things to do with health issues to someone close to me, or myself, I often panic and think of worse case scenario. I know a lot of this stems from me losing my mom at such a young age, and realizing that life can change in an instant. I hate how right away my mind goes to "tumor/aneurysm/stroke" and "what's going to happen to my kids because of this?".

At 4am, as this is still continuing full force, after Jeremy calls the advice nurse and they say "Bring her into ER!" Jeremy ends up calling the ambulance to come and get me. This was all going on around me and I just felt like it was so surreal. Got to the hospital and they decide to run a gamut of blood tests on me and do a CAT scan...never have had one of those in my life, so freaky.

Needless to say, all the results came back FINE. Dr said it could be an inner ear virus or something and to check in with a doctor in 3-5 days. I am soooo glad it is nothing serious, at the same time, going through that all really makes me realize the importance of life and how fragile it is and how at every moment, I just need to remember that God holds my life in his hands.

I'm so thankful that my dad was in town visiting, and my sister was such a godsend and came over and took care of the kids while I was in bed, literally, all day yesterday. I'm still a bit dizzy now, but enough to function, thank the LORD!

Friday, October 2, 2009

4 months!

Dear Tanner,

Hard to believe that 4 months ago today, you were this new bundle in my arms! Watching you then was such a miracle, especially with all the turmoil of my pregnancy and all the unknown we faced then. I still think of you as my little miracle, and sometimes it hits me hard just what we almost faced with you. I wonder if I will always be a bit more protective of you because of all this.

You are growing sooooo big! Nearly 100% for height and 75% for weight...Long and lean like your daddy maybe? You are growing out of your clothes at an alarming rate, and pretty much wear all 6 month size sleepers. 3 mth pants are SO short on you!

It was a crazy month in the beginning, with you being Mr. Catnapper all day long. A little exhausting at times!! But you've started to take some nice longer naps this past week and are falling into a pretty consistent pattern which makes Mommy a little more relaxed :) You are still waking up in the night to feed, around 4-4:30 and then going back to sleep till 7-7:30. At times I just want you to be sleeping through the night, especially with me having to go back to work in a month, but when I'm holding you and feeding you in the middle of the night, how peaceful and still you are, I am not ready for that to be gone. Especially since when you are awake you are Mr. Active and Mr. go go go, non stop!

You are still my Mr. Smiley Guy! You laugh SOOOO easily and so much! You love being tickled and will shriek in anticipation as our hands get closer to tickling you. You fill my heart with so much joy, little man! I love how you just love to cuddle and be held. You don't seem to be "uncomfortable" anymore so hopefully we can be off the Reflux medication soon.

I love you my little guy!

Love Mommy