Monday, July 20, 2009

My big girl

My precious little girl Sophie, went to preschool for the first time today! Our church has a summer preschool program so Jeremy and I decided to send her 1 day a week for the rest of the summer. Good for her to get out and interact with other kids, as well as get used to being there, as she'll be going there in the fall a couple days a week.

I couldn't help but feel a little "weepy" today over Sophie. She woke up super early "so excited Mom!" for going to preschool. Sophie just wants to be a "big girl" soooo badly.

Seeing Sophie at preschool (yes, I stayed for a bit...not too long, but I needed to, for my sanity, watch my precious little girl there). She found her name on the little carpet square, promptly sat down criss-cross applesauce and her hands in her lap (she has been talking about going to school FOREVER, this is a dream for her, she plays it all the time).

I know I need to "let go" and let her grow to be the independent little girl she is, who has such a love for life, learning and others. It's hard though, for me, to watch this precious little jewel, who fills my heart with so much love and joy, grow up and not "need me" as much anymore. This little one who made me a mom. This little one who cried and screamed for most of her first 3 months, but blossomed into a joyful little soul. In school. Without me.

Even as I write this, I have a little tear coursing down my cheek. I am so proud of the little sweetie Sophie has become, and love seeing her grow and learn and become who she is. I just pray, that even with this new season for her, that she will still come to me for the cuddles and hugs that I am not ready to give up yet.

Sophie today, ready to go to preschool




Eating lunch like a big girl

And just because I'm feeling SO is little Sophie...this feels like JUST yesterday...


Saturday, July 18, 2009

Just trucking along...

Where is time going?? Too fast! There are days that feel like they are DRAGGING by (the days where both kids are fighting sleep) but really, I am just amazed at how fast everything is going by.

Tanner is getting soooo big. DEFINITELY losing that newborn look which makes me feel a bit sad. BUT, oh my gosh, he is my "smiley guy". He is smiling ALL THE TIME (unless he is in his crib :) He will smile as you are rocking him to sleep...he does this as he is making eye contact with me, love it. He's started smiling at me during nursing, which makes for messy nursing sessions, but I LOVE it.

We are having BIG issues in the sleep department...he sleeps GREAT at night, no problem there, however, daytime sleep, ugh, another story!! And yes, once again, I have a child who does not like to sleep in: their swing, bouncy chair, or carseat. If we go on long trips in the car, he is out like a light, but none of this sleep in the city stuff. Even in my arms, he does not usually sleep. So we put him in his crib and stay with him forever till he falls asleep, sometimes pushing the binky back in 100 times, other times putting our hand on his back, or shhh-ing him. Sigh, even fussing at times. It's hard b/c he will NOT sleep when we go out places, so, because of that, I often feel "stuck" at home, b/c I know I will be dealing with a severely overtired baby who doesn't want to sleep.

Right now, we are swaddling him for naps, which he doesn't like that much, however, without a swaddle for naps he doesn't settle well. I will gladly take ANY tips you have to offer :) :) Or, tips for getting him to LIKE his dang swing and bouncy chair enough to sleep in them occasionally, lol.

Sophie is growing up soooo quickly. I look at her and can't believe how grown-up she is. She is so articulate with her words and I am amazed at her understanding of things. She has such a sweet and sensitive spirit. It is getting hard to read books/watch movies with her b/c she asks 5 million questions throughout each, but as a teacher, I know I should encourage this. She wants to know everything. For those of you teachers out there, I almost want to do a Letter Identification test with her :) She can identify probably close to 95% of all upper case and lower case letters. She can spell out whole words, she is starting to write her name totally on her own (we have a funny looking S, an O, P, and an i right now).

I feel bad b/c over the past 7 weeks of adjusting to having a newborn, Sophie has been sorely neglected, which I know HAPPENS, but it's very hard for me, as I really miss her, and we DID have 3 years of just the 2 of us. Starting on Monday, we will be sending to her at least 1 morning a week of summer preschool at the preschool at our church, where she'll be going in the fall. I KNOW it will be good for her to get out, and interact and learn, but it makes Mommy so sad, b/c once again, it's a reminder of just how fast she is growing up.

I love my kids, I love my family, I am just one tired mama these days, but...just trucking along...

Thursday, July 2, 2009

1 month old...

Dear Tanner,

I can't believe you are 1 month old today! This month has just flown by, and along with that, you are growing and changing so much. You are such a blessing to our family, little buddy. I love the way that you calm as soon as you hear Sophie and turn to find her. I love how your face lights up when you see your daddy and you give him your best smiles. I love the way you are such a snuggly little guy and find so much comfort in my arms.

You are such a loved little boy. Even before you were born, you filled so many hearts because of the fervent prayers we were all praying for you. I love watching you sleep, so peaceful, and think about how just a few months ago, I was having a huge battle within myself, from the fear of certain dr reports, and not even knowing if I would get to hold you and have you with me.

You are a mellow little guy, and do not want to miss out on anything! Hence the "fighting sleep" in the daytime, but hopefully that will improve with time. You calm so much to music and love listening to mommy and Sophie reading books. You have no interest at all in the swing or bouncy chair, and would rather be in arms all day long :)

I love you precious Tanner. I thought it would take me longer to "love" or "bond" with a 2nd child, but the moment you were born, I have felt such an amazing love for you, my son.

Luv, Mommy