Monday, September 27, 2010

It's the little things

Lately I have really been struggling with the fact that I am working, albeit part-time, but working nonetheless while I have little kids. More than anything, I want to be able to stay at home full-time with Sophie and Tanner, and I have been so sad that I can't right now. Lots of mommy guilt. And if you know me at all, you know that I am very sentimental and every little event/moment that my kids go through mean so much to me. I have felt that I have missed out on so many things with working. I wasn't able to go to Sophie's first day of pre-kinder this year because that was my first day of school with my class. I wasn't able to go to Sophie's preschool graduation last year because I was working and I cried many tears over that. And the fact that Sophie only goes to preschool on the days that I work means that I don't get to go to any of the special things that go on.

So today, I only worked half a day because I had to take Tanner to a doctor appointment. However, I got off a little bit earlier and I was able to go to Sophie's preschool and eat lunch with her today. When I got there, she was busy reading with her friends and didn't notice me. When the teacher called the kids to go wash their hands and line up, she saw me and her face broke out into the biggest smile and she ran and gave me a hug. I watched her as she washed her hands and all the kids were around her saying, "who is that?". Sophie, (with a huge smile on her face) said, "That's my mom. She's eating lunch with me today". I heard "Cool", and "Neat" from the kids. The whole time she washed her hands, she had the biggest smile on her face.

No, it wasn't the biggest thing, it wasn't the first day of school. But you know what, to Sophie it meant the world. And it meant the world to me too, to be able to do that.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Hello??? Is there an echo???

Remember me? Yeah, I took a little bit of a "break" from the blogging world. No real reason why, other than the fact that I just had no idea what to write about. SO much has happened, and the longer I took a break, the more daunting the task was to come back and update. So I'm not. I'm just going to start over from right now! I need a place to come to "get out" some of my feelings. Whether people read it or not, I just need a place to share things.

I am back at work started this past week and I am trying to get back into the swing of things. After a GREAT summer, a MUCH needed break after a really rough spring at work, I felt pumped and ready to go. It was a tough first week...really, 32 kids in one class is hard enough, but add in some severe behaviors and I feel a bit overwhelmed. But I've never backed down from a challenge before, huh?

Sophie is so excited to be back at pre-school. Hard to believe she is in pre-kindergarten. She is so grown up and growing so fast every single day. Tanner is trying to keep up with her and doesn't quite understand that he can't do everything she does. Hmm, the life of a 2nd born, huh?

I love my babies and I know I will get back in the swing of things with work, but at the moment, I still get tears every morning saying good-bye