Grr, I hate to vent and complain, but I just need to GET THIS OUT...I am TIRED of being told that I "don't understand" by various people in my life. I have people who pour their woes out to me, and the moment I offer a suggestion or a word of encouragement I get, "You can't possibly understand what I'm going through, you've never been through it", or "I shouldn't even bother telling people this if they clearly will not understand."
You know, I don't feel that I should need to apologize for the way my life is...from the way they make it sound, my life is perfect and I've got it all. Yes, I have been so blessed...a wonderful husband, a beautiful little girl, a nice house...but all those things haven't just been handed to me. I've gone through relationship heartache...okay, maybe not as visible as others, but I've had my heart broken. I've been lonely (I still feel that sometimes), I've suffered through depression, I've lost a mom, I've had a miscarriage....I could go on and on, but I don't want to. I just wish that before people judge and say "you can't understand", that they'd realize that everyone has pain. Or at least I do.
I don't know what to tell these people who constantly tell me that "you won't understand, you've got the perfect life". Just delve a little deeper, I have issues and hurts like everyone else. I just don't wear them on my sleeve on a daily basis, so people may not know.
Yes, I have been blessed immensely by God and I thank Him everyday for so many of the blessings in my life. I know life is so fragile and I never want to live with regrets, because I know, too well, that in an instant, someone can be gone. I just wish that instead of just accusing me of not understanding, that they'd ask me for once, "Lori, how are YOU doing?"
3 comments:
I understand. I have "friends" like that too...and how sad that they cannot see the blessings in their lives.
If they think you have a perfect life (which we all know is impossible) and don't bother to get to know the real you. It is their loss. Because you rock!
You made it through PPD, the loss of a baby and your mother, so much more. You're a fighter. I guess they will never "understand" that.
Oh Lori I really need to give you my phone number! I can totally relate.
People can be really insensitive and just plain selfish. You're a smart woman and you do probably understand most things, whether you've been through them or not. But people like to think that they have unique problems and that no one on Earth could possibly understand what they're going through. That's not the case. You're a good person and that's why they come to you in the first place. Don't forget that!
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