Friday, May 13, 2011

My Baby is 5

I cannot believe that my little Sophie Jean is 5 years old today. My heart has this ache in it for some reason as I say she is 5, maybe in disbelief that 5 years have gone by so quickly, or even just the reality that she is growing up so quickly. Too quickly for me.

I think back to the early days after Sophie was born. Me, as a first time mom, to a colicky baby. It was a really, really rough time in my life. I felt so incredibly inadequate as a new mom, so lonely for my mom, or really, any support at all, and just not sure that I would ever make it through those post partum days.

Somehow, those first 4 months seem as a dim, dim memory now. Because after those first few months, Sophie became this happy, peaceful, joyful little thing and has filled our home with all of those things. I had 3 years with just her before Tanner came and I am so thankful of all that time with my little buddy.

I look at Sophie now, this little girl, who is blossoming into a young lady all ready, and am so incredibly proud of her. She has such a sensitive and loving heart and is so compassionate to others. She has such a sensitivity to God and spiritual things and I know God has His hand on her life so strongly.

I just am not sure if I am ready for how fast life is going by. Because when I think back to when she was born, 5 years ago, it seems like just yesterday. And I don't want the next 5 years to fly by that fast as well. Tonight at bedtime, I just held Sophie a little while longer, and a little harder because I know that there won't always be the times that she will want me to cuddle her anymore. So for now, before she grows up even quicker, I will hold her a little longer, and a little harder, and be thankful for this precious precious girl who has made me the happiest mom in the world.

I love you Sophie. You have helped heal my heart in so many ways.