De-cluttering

Okay, so after nearly 1 year of looking at my mound of boxes of teaching stuff in the garage, I finally decided today to start going through it all. Now you have to understand something about me...I NEVER throw things away. I always think I will have a use for it someday, so meanwhile this means our junk pile grows higher and higher. I don't know what finally made me decide to go through it and get rid of a bunch of stuff...maybe it's b/c we've been talking finances so whatever I can sell and can get us a few dollars is great. Or maybe, in reality, I'm doing it b/c I'm realizing teaching isn't everything to me anymore, like it used to be. But really, I think it's because I'm tired of looking at the stacks of boxes in the garage.

You know, when I first went to college, I was soooo excited to be pursuing a teaching degree....that was what I wanted to do since I was 5 years old, when I would set up a play classroom with my stuffed animals, and my then 1 year old sister, and "teach them". I mean, I even taught my little sister how to read! I enjoyed college, LOVED doing my class experience and was soooo excited to get my first job, 5 years ago, teaching 1st grade. SUCH a learning experienc for me. I loved the challenge and seeing the "light bulb" go off. Now, 5 years later, and a Masters degree later, i think somewhere along the line, I've been growing very tired of what I am doing. I still love "teaching", but I've discovered that being a teacher is not really too much about "teaching" at all.

This year, I am teaching 3rd grade, I have ALWAYS wanted to teach 3rd and I really am enjoying it. I have a great job-share partner and I love working part-time. So what's the problem? I think I'm becoming jaded. Each year, the kids in my class have gotten tougher and tougher, and while I've jumped up to the challenge many times, I think the burden of it is wearing on me more and more. I learned "classroom management" in college, but did that prepare me for dealing with children who have severe behavior issues or mental health issues? Yes, mental health issues. I have 3 8-year olds in my class who meet with the mental health consultant and counselor regulary. I don't know if I'm cut out for this much longer.

So that is why I am finally able to throw stuff out...because you know, I don't know if I see myself doing it for the rest of my life, like I always imagined I would.