It's the little things

Lately I have really been struggling with the fact that I am working, albeit part-time, but working nonetheless while I have little kids. More than anything, I want to be able to stay at home full-time with Sophie and Tanner, and I have been so sad that I can't right now. Lots of mommy guilt. And if you know me at all, you know that I am very sentimental and every little event/moment that my kids go through mean so much to me. I have felt that I have missed out on so many things with working. I wasn't able to go to Sophie's first day of pre-kinder this year because that was my first day of school with my class. I wasn't able to go to Sophie's preschool graduation last year because I was working and I cried many tears over that. And the fact that Sophie only goes to preschool on the days that I work means that I don't get to go to any of the special things that go on.

So today, I only worked half a day because I had to take Tanner to a doctor appointment. However, I got off a little bit earlier and I was able to go to Sophie's preschool and eat lunch with her today. When I got there, she was busy reading with her friends and didn't notice me. When the teacher called the kids to go wash their hands and line up, she saw me and her face broke out into the biggest smile and she ran and gave me a hug. I watched her as she washed her hands and all the kids were around her saying, "who is that?". Sophie, (with a huge smile on her face) said, "That's my mom. She's eating lunch with me today". I heard "Cool", and "Neat" from the kids. The whole time she washed her hands, she had the biggest smile on her face.

No, it wasn't the biggest thing, it wasn't the first day of school. But you know what, to Sophie it meant the world. And it meant the world to me too, to be able to do that.