Mixed Feelings...

I'm going back to work tomorrow. After a WONDERFUL and restful summer off, getting to spend every day with Sophie, I am feeling a lot of mixed emotions about going back to work. I have loved being here every day with Sophie, not having to worry about "oh no she had a bad night, she's going to be a bear for the baby-sitter", or "we'll be out late tonight, and up so early for when I get her up for work, we maybe shouldn't go out tonight". It has been such a great summer.

On the other hand, after a really rough teaching year last year...I think so many things contributed to that; me teaching in a new grade so new curriculum, doing a job share for the first time, being out on maternity leave for the first month so always feeling a bit like a "sub" after I came back, but ultimately, the kids were just tougher. But my teaching partner and I have talked a lot this summer and we are really excited for this new year approaching. We are trying a bunch of new things, really focusing more on "community building" for the first weeks, and making the classroom feel more "homey", with plants, and lamps around. I feel more confident in the curriculum, and I love working with a teaching partner....

I know I am sooooo blessed to be able to do a job share...so that I can be home with Sophie for 4 or 5 days a week, and yet still get to teach, something that I do love (most days). But I think just the thought that "the summer is over" and having to drop Sophie off at the baby sitters in her jammies at 7am tomorrow is making me a bit teary eyed...

No more car trips for awhile, please

The title says it all. I got back today from our 4th road trip of the summer....Sophie has done AMAZINGLY well and has turned into quite the good traveler (far cry from the early days when the second she would enter the car, she would scream and scream). But momma's tired of the trips.

A road trip used to mean, "How fast can we make it to our destination?" and sometimes Jeremy and I would drive all the way to Montana only stopping once. We'd each have one bag and a pillow, and that's pretty much it!

This last trip, our trunk contained:
1 small bag for me
Pack and play
Bag of diapers and wipes
Big bag of toys
Cooler for Sophie's food
Bag for Sophie's utensils/cups/bottles
Fan (white noise for Sophie)
Sophie's blankets
Sophie's stroller
Winnie the pooh
Sophie's dolls

Trips do not consist of "how fast can we make it?" anymore, but now the rule is "how long can Sophie last without having to stop to get a diaper changed". After 4 road trips this summer, I'm a bit tired of packing and unpacking the car:):) Kind of petty I know, but I'm ready to be home for awhile now:) (and to add to that....sitting in a car for that long is getting a lot less comfortable for me...must be getting old!)

Since when do I have a shy and quiet child??

Sophie has always been this little ball of energy. She still is, at home, at least. She yells, sings, runs, talks, laughs ALL day when we are home. It used to be that when we'd go somewhere new, it would take Sophie 10 minutes max to warm up. She usually would just stand there sucking on her finger, until she'd feel comfortable, and then she'd be her pretty normal self.

Well, the last few days I've really been noticing a difference in her personality when we go places. Yesterday at the park, she just stood there for the longest time, not wanting to go anywhere, just taking it all in I guess. Well, she never "totally warmed up" to being there. She'd walk around slowly, not talking at all. We were there for 1 hour and it wasn't until I buckled her into her carseat that she started talking.

Today at the zoo, same thing. We were there for 4.5 hours with some friends. She didn't talk, didn't smile. When she saw the fish (her favorite animal, I'm learning) she pointed and whispered "fishy fishy". When I took her out of her stroller, she clung to me and whined, wanted to go back in. I am so not used to this! I'm used to a carefree girl who will go anywhere, with anyone. I wonder if this is just a stage or what. It's funny when we get together with people and I've told them how boisterous she is, and she sits there starting at them forever, not talking or making any expressions.

But when it's just the 2 of us, oh yah, she's nonstop:)

Meeting face-to-face

Today I got to meet up with a lady I've come to know these past few years on the message boards I belong to. It's not the first time I've met up with someone who I've met online, but still, always before a meeting, there is a little bit of nervousness...will I feel awkward with this person? You know a lot about them, but meeting face to face is pretty vulnerable. Sometimes I feel I can "hide" behind the computer. But when you actually meet someone "in real life", you are who you are.

It was really cool though, meeting Lisa and little Taryn. There wasn't awkwardness at all! It was like, "hey, I know you already!". I've seen so many pictures of Taryn, and heard about her so it was great to see her in person and see the cute personality. I felt Lisa and I hit it off too, and it was so nice to hang out with someone who has a child the exact same age, and going through the same things I am with Sophie.

This weekend, when I'm up in Canada, I will also be meeting up with 2 other ladies from one of the boards I've belonged to for 2 years. I am so excited:) These people who have been friends to me for awhile, now getting to know another side of them.